The Crossroads: A Pivotal Career Moment
Carolyn’s career has been anything but stagnant. Over the past 5.5 years as a mother, she’s navigated multiple high-impact roles:
- 9 years at a single company before making her first big career move post-baby
- A senior IC role at Amazon
- A shift into independent consulting & contracting
- A leadership role at a fast-paced mental health startup
She thrives in high-growth, high-intensity environments—roles that demand full commitment and often come with cultures that reward "all-in" mentalities. But as her family has grown, Carolyn has felt the misalignment between career intensity and the kind of presence she wants to have at home.
"Truthfully, throughout my journey as a working mom, the only time I felt solid with my ‘balance’ was when my first child was an infant."
At that time, she wasn’t yet chasing the next promotion, the next big opportunity. She was simply figuring out how to be a mom and a professional simultaneously. But as her career progressed, she found herself repeatedly pulled into demanding jobs that left her feeling drained.
"I have not felt content with the energy & presence I have left to give to my partner and my kids. This results in a misalignment with my core values."
Now, for the first time in her career, Carolyn is intentionally taking a step back. She knows she wants to work, but she’s rethinking what roles, companies, and cultures are truly worth her time and energy.
The Challenges: Career Growth vs. Being the Mom She Wants to Be
- Stress from high-intensity roles spilling into family life
"The stress from high-intensity roles and companies flows over into my family life in a way that disrupts my presence, patience, etc., with my kids."
Even when she wasn’t working, she often felt mentally preoccupied—responding to Slack messages, thinking about work fires, or simply feeling too drained to engage fully at home.
- The Internal Conflict: Ambition vs. Presence
"I struggle with wanting to provide & grow professionally, but also knowing how to achieve this while being the mom I want to be."
Carolyn realized that small moments matter—picking her kids up from school, taking them to the lake in the summer, being truly present in their day-to-day lives. But so far, the corporate roles she’s chosen haven’t made space for these priorities.
Now, the challenge isn’t just stepping back—it’s figuring out where to look for roles that actually align with the life she wants to live.
What Worked: Prioritization, Authenticity & Community
Despite the challenges, Carolyn has learned valuable lessons along the way.
- Connecting with Other Parents at Work
"I’ve leaned on other working moms in my workplaces—those relationships have been invaluable."
Having open, honest conversations with others navigating the same struggles made her feel less alone.
- Getting Better at Prioritization
"I’ve become a lot better at aligning my work with what actually matters."
She’s learned to focus on high-impact work and let go of unnecessary stressors.
- Leading with Authenticity
"As a leader, I chose to be open about the working-parent experience with my team members."
By being transparent about the realities of balancing work and parenting, she helped foster a more supportive culture within her teams.
- What She Would Have Done Differently
Looking back, Carolyn sees a pattern—she made some of her biggest career transitions during major life changes, like having kids.
"I often think about why I chose to make big changes professionally during times in my personal life that were also big changes (e.g., becoming a parent the first and second time!)."
She wishes she had paid more attention to company cultures and stayed true to her non-negotiables, rather than chasing titles and salaries.
The Tools & Resources That Helped
- Business Coach & Parenting Coach – Helped her navigate both professional and personal challenges.
- Parenting & Women’s ERGs (Employee Resource Groups) – Provided a sense of community and shared experiences within the workplace.
Advice for Other Parents Considering a Similar Path
- You Will Never Look Back and Wish You Worked More
"But you don’t want to look back and wish you had spent more time—or more present time—with your kids." - Time as a Parent Is Even More Valuable
"Every minute counts—ask yourself, ‘What’s the highest and best use of my time?’ and focus accordingly." - Seek Out Community & Choose Authenticity
"Surround yourself with people who understand this journey—whether it’s coworkers, friends, or mentors." - Listen to What People Say About Company Culture & Leadership
"It will matter more than ever as a parent. If a company’s culture doesn’t support flexibility, don’t assume you can ‘make it work.’"
Carolyn’s Both& Moment
Carolyn’s story highlights the tension that so many working parents feel—the desire to grow in their careers and be fully present with their families.
She is navigating how to be both ambitious and intentional about her time.
She is learning how to choose both meaningful work and a career that aligns with her values.
She is realizing that success is both about what she achieves and how she experiences life outside of work.
Her story isn’t about walking away—it’s about choosing more wisely and refusing to settle for a career that doesn’t respect the full version of who she is.
